I have been Miss' girl for a while now. Love between the two of us still seems to grow daily. That same love has often prevented me to act like a submissive should to her Miss though. The sweet times we share seem like a lullaby, gently rocking me to 'sleep'. Right at those times or shortly afterwards comes then the moment I mess up and say or do something disrespectful.
Why?
Not to be deliberately disrespectful, even if maybe there is a little bit of 'challening Miss' in it too. No, It seems more like that I don't see the truth at those moments: She is the one giving direction to our relationship, she is captain of the ship and not me.
So I say or do something stupid and Miss has to discipline me to get me in line again. Everybody happy you would think: The Domme can use her power and her girl will have to submit to it. Isn't that what it is all about?
The answer is, NO!
Miss is dominant alright and will never allow me to top her from the bottom. By me (to a degree unconsciously) trying to do so anyway, I force her to discipline me. Not in a pleasant session for both but simply a true punishment that I thought I needed. But... it never leaves me satisfied because Miss knows all too well the difference between pleasure and discipline. And it does not leave Miss satisfied either because she likes to reward good behaviour rather than punish bad behaviour.
A few days ago I messed up big time again. The punishment came swiftly and was fitting. It gave me enough time to contemplate about why I was doing that. Soon enough I had enough of my punishment but Miss finished it all to the end before she forgave me. Afterwards, we had a talk about respect and how it hurt Miss to be forced to do this.
Since that moment, something inside me seems to change though. I can feel butterflies in my stomach whenever I think of her. Love? Well yes that too. This goes deeper though. It seems to me like a first true understanding of my position towards her. At this moment I feel the need to pleasure her in every way possible and the need to be bratty is at an all time low.
Doe it mean I will never screw up again?
Well no... I'm human too and will make mistakes again. It is a start though, to true submission to her. I can somehow feel her pressence around me at all times now. And even if I am allowed to be playful, that pressence should be able to prevent me from taking just that extra step. The point where playfulness ends and being disrespectful begins.
I need You to help me with it Miss. To show me where to draw the line. I will not try to cross it again though.
Love, Kyla
Why?
Not to be deliberately disrespectful, even if maybe there is a little bit of 'challening Miss' in it too. No, It seems more like that I don't see the truth at those moments: She is the one giving direction to our relationship, she is captain of the ship and not me.
So I say or do something stupid and Miss has to discipline me to get me in line again. Everybody happy you would think: The Domme can use her power and her girl will have to submit to it. Isn't that what it is all about?
The answer is, NO!
Miss is dominant alright and will never allow me to top her from the bottom. By me (to a degree unconsciously) trying to do so anyway, I force her to discipline me. Not in a pleasant session for both but simply a true punishment that I thought I needed. But... it never leaves me satisfied because Miss knows all too well the difference between pleasure and discipline. And it does not leave Miss satisfied either because she likes to reward good behaviour rather than punish bad behaviour.
A few days ago I messed up big time again. The punishment came swiftly and was fitting. It gave me enough time to contemplate about why I was doing that. Soon enough I had enough of my punishment but Miss finished it all to the end before she forgave me. Afterwards, we had a talk about respect and how it hurt Miss to be forced to do this.
Since that moment, something inside me seems to change though. I can feel butterflies in my stomach whenever I think of her. Love? Well yes that too. This goes deeper though. It seems to me like a first true understanding of my position towards her. At this moment I feel the need to pleasure her in every way possible and the need to be bratty is at an all time low.
Doe it mean I will never screw up again?
Well no... I'm human too and will make mistakes again. It is a start though, to true submission to her. I can somehow feel her pressence around me at all times now. And even if I am allowed to be playful, that pressence should be able to prevent me from taking just that extra step. The point where playfulness ends and being disrespectful begins.
I need You to help me with it Miss. To show me where to draw the line. I will not try to cross it again though.
Love, Kyla
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