Kyla's Diary

Yesterday Mistress and I had a talk about play-preferences. Mistress loves to play with people's minds. On a very rare occasions she does with me too. Not nearly as often as I would like though. Instead she often searches for something to do together with me towards someone else than that she does it to me.

This may well be my own mistake as after a few pretty intense scenes in the past, I needed a lot of aftercare. However, I did not take into account that Mistress might need the same somehow. The scenes were intense for her too. She thoroughly enjoyed making me cry and scream. After the power rush was over and she had to take care of me, bringing me down to earth again, she saw what it did to me. Somehow I think this must have made Mistress scared of doing it again. Scared of being the one to hurt her loved one.

Thing is... Even if I might cry, scream and yell at her right then because I feel lost and detached somehow; Even if I might be hurt for some reason; I crave it anyway. I need to feel it. Afterwards I feel replenished. Never has there been permanent damage of whatever kind. Never has my trust in my beloved Mistress become less because of an intense scene. Sure, I might be pushed to my limits and sure, I might accidentally be pushed over. Nothing is ever happened though that made my feelings less for Mistress.

To make a long story short: Mistress, please don't feel you have a fragile girl that can not handle things. I can handle more than You might realise. Yes, you can hurt me but I am not afraid of that. Please don't be afraid of yourself either? Only someone who loves me and whom I trust fully, can hurt me and have my unconditional love in return.

Love,
Kyla