Mistress and I had a running into each other heads first. The reason is not even important the tiresome days after that and especially the final conclusion are though.
I sent Mistress an email about what I thought our options would be. I was not sure if I even should add the email here. I wanted to make it more of a summing up of conclusions on how we went on from there. Eventually Mistress simply told me that she wanted the email I sent her to be added literally because it somehow helped big time to pull us through. So here it comes and without any alteration to it.
My Love,
First... I love you, don't want to lose you and will always be fighting to keep you.
Having said that, I realise that you are disappointed about what happened the last few days. I can imagine it all too well as it means that you are simply not capable of making me submit.
I thought about it and come to the conclusion that even if I like it that you make the decisions in general... As soon as I do not agree with something, I just as easily step out of my submissive role and decide for myself what is best for me. This is not your mistake. Maybe not even mine as it is obviously stronger than I am. In any case... it is caused by me.
Bottom line is that you make a very sensual Domme and I make a very lousy submissive. Sure, I sink to my knees for you and accept your general direction but as soon as it is seriously required for me to submit, I mess up over and over again.
This is not something I want us to have to endure. I can see it tormenting you and drive us apart at times. It torments myself as I realise that it is me that causes the hurt in both our hearts.
I do not know exactly how we should go on from here but see a few possibilities:
I do not know exactly how we should go on from here but see a few possibilities:
- We go on like this and I keep seriously trying;
This first option sounds the easiest. But it might just be waiting for the next clash between us then? - We go on as equals;
This requires you to take a step back and me to do another step forwards. It is a valid option but brings a whole array of problems with it too. - You have enough of me and don't want to have me at all any longer;
I totally do not believe this and is from my side not a serious option. - We go on but you accept that I will not be able to truly submit all the time.
The fourth sounds the most convenient but it requires you to take a step back with nothing from me in return. Basically you will have to admit and allow me then to top from the bottom. If I were in your shoes right now then I might not be able to do that.
I am completely open to more options Love. I would like both of us to forgive, not forget, what happened the last few days and instead focus on how we can enjoy each other most. A relaxed talk in each other's arms with no accusations either way will without doubt bring us the best solution.
You still, and will always have my deep love.
Sweet kisses,
Kylara
Ohhh, I almost forgot... There has to be a conclusion to all of this of course.
Well, we decided for option 1. Not the easiest way for both of us but... When you have such a deep feelings for each other then what could possibly go wrong by having a fight once in a while?
Love,
Kyla
You still, and will always have my deep love.
Sweet kisses,
Kylara
Ohhh, I almost forgot... There has to be a conclusion to all of this of course.
Well, we decided for option 1. Not the easiest way for both of us but... When you have such a deep feelings for each other then what could possibly go wrong by having a fight once in a while?
Love,
Kyla
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