Kyla's Diary

It happened again... Uppity me making the same mistake and colliding with Mistress on it. She obviously had enough of it this time and decided for a punishment that would truly touch me.

And touching me it did. Even if the actual punishment never took place. Mistress basically wanted me to find someone else to serve for 24 hours and to whom I should be totally compliant.

I was stunned! Then again, what should I have expected then? Mistress might be caring and loving, she's not a fool. No, that "honour" was totally mine.

After feeling lonely, scared and totally intimidated by just the thought for more than an hour, I only saw one way out and that was to make myself as small as possible and humbly beg for Mistress to show her girl mercy.

It was given even if not deserved and didn't feel like an accomplishment really. No glorious feelings that I managed to get away from my punishment. Instead I felt myself more humbled by and submissive towards Mistress than ever before. I challenged her, she called my bluff and challenged me in return. I surely did not know how to counter that anymore.

It kept haunting me till the next moment I saw her and I felt something inside me shifting, more understanding to what being submissive is. It scares the hell out of me and yet, I know this is what I was searching for. This is what I feel I need to explore deeper.

It's almost 2 days ago this happened and here I am. Still feeling the same and still in a mindset that I have not experienced before. Feeling as if my pleasure is not as important anymore. Or more accurately... feeling that I can have my pleasure just from a praise of Mistress, a soft touch. by being pleasing in return.

Of course I know I will make mistakes again. Somehow I think this time I learned more than previous times though. I feel that this time the realisation of my position and what I'm actually craving for kicked in way deeper than ever before.

Love,
Kyla